Photo by: fdecomite

Though much of the mainstream media has been ignoring the current War on God, some commentators like Fox News commentator Glenn Beck have been talking about it for a while. Due to public pressure stirred up by these commentators, the U.S. Congress issued a request for a situation report from the Department of Defense on the current War on God.

In response to that request, Admiral Mike Mullen, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, prepared a two-page report on the current status of Operation Get God and delivered it to Congress. The report states that the U.S. Military has mobilized three divisions of fighting men and women, including the 10th Mountain Division, who are specially trained to fight in unusual circumstances in unusual terrain.

The total costs of the preparations are estimated to exceed $75 billion. This includes research and development of weapons that can dispatch angels and souls, transportation for three divisions to the border of heaven, aid and support to allies who border heaven, and finally the God neutralization machine.

One striking situation in the war is mentioned near the bottom of the second page of the report. Chaplain (MG) Douglas L. Carver Chief of Chaplains states, “Since God is pure love and the source of all things, when an American soldier dies in this conflict, their soul is instantly delivered to God, retrained, and sent to the front to fight for heaven. This accounts for a net resource loss of two soldiers. For this reason, God may very well be an unbeatable enemy.”

In a joint press release, Congressmen Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, and Maxine Waters stated that this is the most important war in which the US has ever been involved. The statement read, “God is the largest obstacle to the mainstream progressive ideals of this country that were shown in the most recent presidential election. President Obama inherited this enemy, known as God, and we must provide all of the money and resources needed to unseat him.”

Congressional Republicans are unanimously opposed to this action. House Republican Leader John Boehner said that this is an unjust war on a benevolent entity upon which most Americans rely. This is an end-run around our constitutional protection to freely practice our religion.