Photo by: djeems

On the February 27th episode of Late Night with David Letterman, David Letterman ‘accidentally’ joked about President Obama. Apparently, one of his writers slipped the joke into his stack of index cards before the show. For a long time, David Letterman has been picking on former President George W. Bush every chance he could get. So when he came across the joke on one of his cards, he went into autopilot and delivered it.

CBS and Mr. Letterman released a joint statement today which read:

As a late-night talk show host, and thus much more important than the average American, it is Mr. Letterman’s duty to try to sway public opinion to oppose elected officials that he does not like. However, the innocent joke that he delivered on Friday’s program was not written by him, and did not reflect the views of Mr. Letterman or CBS. It was unfortunate that the joke was ever conceptualized, let alone delivered. The staff member who wrote the joke was immediately fired, and will never be able to find a job for any major network. We sincerely apologize to President Obama, his family, and the American people for portraying him in a light that does not flatter him as much as we are used to. We will continue only to do jokes that make the president look good so that the uninformed masses who watch this show will continue to form their opinions based not on actual fact, but on whatever we tell them.

In the hours between the unfortunate joke and the release of the press statement, many prominent individuals were arrested for acts of assault against Mr. Letterman and vandalism against his personal property. Keith Olbermann, a hard-hitting MSNBC host, was arrested after pummeling Mr. Letterman’s car with a bat as it sat outside of his home. He also defecated on Mr. Letterman’s doormat. His incoherent screams as he smashed the car alerted Mr. Letterman’s neighbors who called the police. Other arrests included several co-hosts of The View, Chris Matthews, and Oprah Winfrey. John Stewart, current chairperson of Fake News and Talk Shows for the Advancement of Liberal Ideals, revoked Mr. Letterman’s lifetime membership as soon as he saw the joke.