The UK passed the David Blaine Tariff after his moronic, attention defying stunt of being suspended in a Plexiglas box without food for 44 days in London. A spokesman for the House of Commons said, "we needed to 'take out the trash', so to speak", and "we were just doing our part to keep Brittan a nice place live."

After hearing of the tariff, Mr. Blaine was so irate that he decided to inflict his personal brand of boring upon the United States to protest of the tariff (and the fact that people do not like him). Much like a 4 year old vying for attention, his latest gem was to hold his breath until people cared. Mission not accomplished.

No longer willing to be trapped in "a boring shape like a rectangular prism", he built a sphere where he could spend a week in salt water. Admittedly, the water was a good way to mute the taunting to which Blaine has become accustomed. So the illusionist turned boring stunt man took his place in the "bubble" in the middle of one of the most populous metropolises in the world in an attempt to increase his odds that someone would care.

This stunt, like all of Blaine's stunts, only accomplished one thing, showing more people than ever what a tool he is. His escapades seem to stem from the most unimaginative double dares the world has ever known. The only anticipation during his latest snoozapoloza, was that of hearing news that something had gone wrong like the sphere sprung a leak and now David just sits in the bottom of an empty sphere sad, lonely, and able to see and hear the mild indifference of passing pedestrians.

Although no longer a magician, Blaine's best trick so far has been making the truth disappear from the old adage, "there is no such thing as bad press".