As the weather gets warm and people’s thirsts need quenching, young entrepreneurs all over the country setup lemonade stands to satisfy this seasonal demand. Not only is it capitalism at its most pure, it is also an American rite of passage. Children learn bedrock economic principles as well as management and customer service skills. But the federal government now wants its cut.

On the February 27th episode of Late Night with David Letterman, David Letterman ‘accidentaly’ joked about President Obama. Appearently, one of his writers slipped the joke into his stack of index cards before the show.

Caroline Kennedy, you know, daughter of JFK the TV president guy, you know is vying for the U.S. Senate seat left vacant by former Senator Hillary Clinton, you know. She is eminently qualified, you know, merely by having been born into the, you know, premiere political family of the latter half of the twentieth century.

In a press conference today, President-elect Barack Obama announced a plan to “divert income from people who have invested in their own future to people who are struggling to buy even the basic necessities like lottery tickets.”

At 2:34pm Eastern Time today, CBS and NBC projected the winner of Florida’s 25 electoral votes for Senator Barack Obama. Spokespersons noted that due to “high pre-voter turnout” they had collected enough exit polling information to declare Obama the winner.